May 6th. 2009

I am filling out my financial aid papers for a study abroad program I'm doing this fall in Italy. I'm scared. I don't know how I feel about 70 grand in debt, but then again with the diseases in my family I will probably die before I have to pay it off...suckers!

I went running the other night with a girl. We were coming around the corner when I heard, "I wish that I was Jessie's girl!!!" booming from somewhere in the distance. A quickly approaching figure came into focus in front of us. It was a giant man sitting on a huge tricyle. He was coming at us with his frosted tip hair blowing in the wind. A boom box and cooler were strapped to the back, and he "zing zinged" past us with his little bell thingy stuck to the front of the handle bars. I want to be that guy. The guy who just really doesn't give a fuck if night runners think he's a freak....and we definitely did.

Running sucks sober. I decided after last stint i'm getting good at boozy first.

Today I almost felt inclined to DJ myself (use your imagination) but then lost all interest when the next door people started doing it full throttle, and my wall was almost bashed through with her totally fake, "oh...my....god". She's really thinking, "ouch, my cervix" but who am I to tattle?

The Arsenal vs Man U game yesterday was total bullshit, and I hate Rinaldo...yet it's a love-hate relationship. I want to have sex with him, while carving, "i hate you...you fucking cry baby" on his chest. Some of us dream big.

My mom is taking my step dad to court soon. She hired my friend who is a bad ass lawyer, and who is going to beat the shit out of the guy...in court of course. I would feel bad for the guy, I mean, he was my step father for 15 years...if he wasn't the biggest douche bag I have ever met in my life. One month after my brother died he asked for a divorce, then moved his silicone chest ex into my mothers house...while my mom grieves and lives one block away at my grandmothers. Sometimes I fantasize about pouring honey all over him and feeding him to a famished ant hill...then i realize I would go to jail, and I have no social skills and would get stabbed my first day in for saying something like, "psh, so you killed your kids! Biiig deaaal! My step dad was like 300 pounds, now that takes dedication and will power...pussy!". That right there is when I get stabbed, first vaginally with a broom, and then in the gut with a knife that so and so made out of a toothbrush and a paper clip.

I have to work. tuh tuh.